I Want to Go There

I want to go to a place where the grass is green, the air is fresh and fragrant, the trees grow tall and thick, and waterfalls flow. A place where I can wake up in the morning without the noise of traffic or the sound of people talking. Where the only sound I hear is birdsong, and when I look out of the window, there is nothing but greenery as far as my eyes can see.

I want to go somewhere no one else lives, where even silence has a voice of its own. Where nobody asks me what I am doing, where I am going, why I am so quiet, or what is troubling me. A place where no one is concerned about my presence, and I don't have to explain how I feel to anyone.

Sometimes, I wish I could leave everything behind and go somewhere I am not waiting for anyone to arrive, nor feeling the pain of someone leaving. Where there are no complaints, no grudges, and nothing left to hold against anyone. Where life is so simple that I can wake up without having to think about whom I must meet, what work needs to be done, or whose expectations I have to fulfil.

I want to go where birds sing freely, deer wander without fear, and butterflies hover over flowers. Where animals do not run away at the sight of a human being, and no one comes with the intention of causing harm. Where every living creature is simply living its own life, undisturbed.

I want mountains there too. Mountains so high that their peaks are lost among the clouds. Little valleys lying between them, where the morning mist slowly lifts as the sun rises. Sunlight finding its way through the leaves and falling gently on the ground. A small stream flowing nearby, where I could sit for hours, watching the water pass by without a thought of anything else.

And when it rains, I want to sit beneath a tree or a small wooden shelter and listen to the falling rain. I want to breathe in the familiar scent of wet earth and watch the raindrops slipping from the leaves. In those moments, I don't want to think about a ringing phone, an unread message, or some unfinished work waiting for me.

I want to go somewhere time has no hold over me. Where I don't have to watch the clock before going to sleep or set an alarm for the morning. Where I can wake up when my eyes open and sleep when I feel tired. A place where there is no race to get ahead of anyone, and no fear of being left behind.

Have you ever wondered how much of our lives we spend trying to please others? Sometimes making someone happy, sometimes making things right with someone, and sometimes trying to convince people that we, too, are worth something. Somewhere along the way, we forget to make time for ourselves. And then comes a point when even being around people begins to feel tiring, including those we once could not spend a single day without talking to.

I want to go somewhere I don't have to deal with people's changing attitudes or keep track of how they treat me. Where someone doesn't make me feel close to them today and like a stranger tomorrow. Where I don't insist on having anyone in my life, nor live with the fear of losing them. Where I don't have to wait for a reply or spend sleepless nights trying to understand the meaning behind someone's silence.

I dream of having a small wooden house someday. A green field stretching out in front of it, trees standing a little further away, and mountains rising beyond them. Somewhere nearby, water would be flowing. In the morning, I would take a cup of tea outside and sit there for as long as I wished. No newspaper, no mobile phone, nothing to keep me busy. Just me, sitting quietly and looking at the world around me.

In the evening, I would follow a narrow path and walk as far as my heart wished. Sometimes I would stop beside a flower, sometimes pause to listen to a bird. I wouldn't have anywhere particular to go. I could sit wherever I pleased and return whenever I felt like it.

And when night falls, I want the sky to be full of stars. Far away from the lights of the city, I would be able to see even those stars that never appear in our skies here. Moonlight resting on the trees and mountains. Silence all around, but not the kind that makes you afraid. Just a quiet, comforting peace.

I want to go somewhere I can spend time with my own thoughts. Where I can look back on the decisions I made when life gave me little time to think. Where I can finally understand the things I have been carrying quietly inside me. Where I can smile at some memories and leave others behind, never to return to them again.

Perhaps you would call it loneliness. But for me, it wouldn't be loneliness at all. I simply want to spend some time in a place where nobody knows me. Where I have no introduction to give, no identity to explain. Where nobody expects anything from me, and I don't have to face the disappointment of having my own expectations broken.

It isn't that I hate people or wish to escape from life. Sometimes, a person simply grows tired. Tired of talking, of listening, of explaining things, and of trying to understand everything. There comes a time when all you want is a little space where you don't have to explain yourself to anyone. Where no one asks you questions, and you no longer feel the need to ask anyone for answers.

I want to go somewhere the memories of yesterday don't keep troubling me, and the worries of tomorrow don't occupy my mind. Somewhere I can live one day at a time. Where I can spend an entire afternoon sitting beneath a tree, and when evening comes, I don't have to feel that I have wasted the day.

I know that finding such a place wouldn't make every problem in life disappear. Some things stay with us, no matter how far we go. But perhaps, in that silence, I would finally be able to hear what my own heart has been trying to tell me. Perhaps some of my worries would fade on their own, and some questions would no longer seem to need an answer.

And Hasan, I want to go somewhere I can be a little further away from the world and a little closer to myself. Somewhere I don't have to keep thinking about all the things I don't have. Where I can simply look at what is before me and take it all in, to my heart's content.

A place where nothing belongs to me. Not the land, not the trees, not the mountains, not even the water flowing by.

But the peace would be mine. All of it.

— Meer Hasan

Read the original in Urdu